I am trying to come up with a badass introduction to this piece (or whatever it is). But it’s not coming. I have written and cleared sentences, replaced words, paraphrased and all that shit. I guess I’ll just go with the natural flow of words, you know, let the words write themselves.
Even though my absence — which seemingly caused an unprecedented “death” of Black Youth — was unplanned, it seemed like the perfect medicine for my predicament. I went through a trying phase (still trying). Shit was crazy. Had a mentoring session with Tomi Adeshina. Made friends. School. Rehearsals. Productions. It was hard. Free time became hard to come by. Massive writer’s block.
But I survived them, and I still am. There is a huge possibility I will survive the ones to come.
That aside, friends are priceless. Having people to actually talk to has more effect than we believe. Through the dark days, I have pushed and survived because of music, a loving mother, a supportive girlfriend and a bunch of friends who listen.
Every week felt different. Like I was going through a new stage of a game.
One week saw me realizing that someone I held dear had made a terrible mistake. A mistake that had to deal with me (it’s some complicated shit). It was crazy. I felt betrayed. Or disappointed; I think disappointed is the right word. But this person held a special place in my heart, and it just felt so hard to make whatever decision. The hardest being forgiving.
But I did.
Forgiving this person showed me how inconsequential the whole event was. Of course it affected me mentally, it made something very clear: the deed was done. When I chose forgiveness, it simply took the burden of worry off my chest, and gave me another shot at building a better relationship with this person. If I had chosen the exact opposite, nothing would have happened of course. Perhaps I would have just worried over the whole thing until it would eventually drive me crazy.
Next week sha, my blog diary, Diary of a Nigerian Lover Boy will begin, and I’ll be sharing the weirdest, emotional, funniest, reflective, and fucked up view on various subjects.
This is just a reminder that Black Youth just resurrected. The three-day break was highly needed.